Whatever your priority, sit down with your loved one and think about what you want from the day and how many people you need to invite each time. Think about whether there are kids with you, how many friends your parents would like to invite, and what your guidelines are for individual guests.
“If you make rules, stick to them,” advises Otter. “When you create a rule, apply it to everyone.”
Once you’ve made an initial list and the number is larger than you thought, it is worth deciding which are absolute must-haves and who, if had to, could be left out. If you can’t afford to care for hundreds of people, your best bet now is to be realistic.
“Be strict and have an A and a B list,” says Cooper. “Every case is different, but you want the people there who you really, really want and who fit your budget. You don’t need a wedding for 300 people. “
At this point you can judge whether you are going to invite some to the full shebang while others are on the “evening only” list.
“Personally, I would say if your budget allows, invite her for a full day,” says Otter. “From the guest’s point of view, it’s still a day trip for them, they may still have to buy a new outfit, they have to get a hotel room, they have to buy a gift. So when you do an evening part, think about how you will greet these guests and what additional things you will do for them. “
Create a table of joy
Once you’ve agreed on a final number of employees, it’s time for a table of delight to keep track of your guests. This is useful when writing, addressing, and mailing your invitations to keep track of feedback and later when sending thank you letters for wedding favors.
For each guest, add columns for the following (and whatever else you find useful):
- Title (as you address them on the invitations)
- First names
- last name
- The number of guests for the invitation (this could be a family of four or a couple, for example)
- address
- Phone number
- Probability of participation
- Actually yes or no
- Nutritional needs
Assume a small drop-off rate based on your knowledge of invitees, but unless they have bigger plans most will want to attend.
Using this number, you can then decide on the location, catering and any extras for your guests.
This is also a good time to start thinking about who you would like to take on in the important roles of groomsmen, ushers, and bridesmaids. You probably already have a good idea, but it’s worth thinking about who not only means a lot to you, but also has the time and skills to organize stag and hen parties, both before and on the big day, to support yourself and in the case of the best man, write and deliver a good speech.
There is great fun leading up to the wedding so make sure you have your best and most loyal friends around.
Set a budget
Talking about money is awkward, but you have to get used to it. You need to discuss budgets with suppliers, venues, your partner, and your families, so make it comfortable to speak openly about them.
You may already know that your parents or your partner’s parents will pay for most or all of the cost of your wedding. It is traditional for the bride’s parents to pay, but that is certainly no longer a given.
If you are not sure whether you want to or can make a contribution, it is worthwhile to talk to us early on. Approach them assuming they can’t and you will rule out the possibility of them feeling pressured and disappointed.
