One of the many groups of people who have been massively affected by the lockdown in the past year are couples planning to get married.
The necessary constraints have forced many of them to plan, reschedule, and reschedule: only to find that despite their best efforts, their day is still in ruins.
You have my sympathy. Like everyone else, the best plans have failed.
But in the midst of all of this, I noticed something fascinating.
There was a palpable sense of relief for the couples who chose to proceed on a much less grand scale than perhaps originally planned.
When couples come to me to make arrangements for the service they will have, there are two questions I tend to ask them. The first is “Why are you getting married?”
This may sound a bit obvious, but it’s always interesting that some have really trouble telling why, where others without missing a heartbeat response, “because we love each other and want to make the commitment that marriage brings. “
The second question illuminates the first: “And do you want a marriage or a wedding?” Therefore, the couples who were married during the pandemic express relief.
Should we ask our second cousins or not? Will Sue and Peter be offended by work if we don’t ask them when Jill and Jack come?
Four bridesmaids are fine, but wouldn’t 12 be better?
What about the flowers, the dress, the cars, the venue, the drinks, the food, the disco, the honeymoon, the photographer, the wedding list of gifts … on and on the list of requirements goes on …
At its core, a marriage service is extraordinarily simple, an expression of the commitment of two people in love to life.
These are words that sound simple but are not always easy to live with.
They have immense depth and complex implications. No wonder the saying goes: “Marry in a hurry, repent calmly.”
For those who got married during the pandemic, the exemption should be freed from an industry (because weddings have become a massive industry) that demand more and more consumption and cost.
As with many pastors, there is a sinking feeling when we hear the sentence: “We have booked the reception, we wonder if we could book your place for the service …” or it is not such a distant cousin today: ” We want to get married there, the photos will look very nice on Instagram.
Pandemic weddings have set couples free to figure out what’s important and what’s not.
For many, the pressure to turn their wedding day into something more than a free bar for everyone they’ve ever met has eased.
Perhaps this is a challenge we all face: why have we spent so much on things we didn’t need and didn’t want for so long?
