Wedding favors have evolved over the years; from vases and toasters to gift books and wishing wells.
As more couples wait longer to tie the knot, and most are already living together, the need for a gift file has decreased.
“These days, couples tend to be well established and have everything they need,” says Peta Callahan, a 47-year-old wedding party.
Peta says although customs differ between cultures, she has seen an increasing number of couples asking their guests to pay for their meal in lieu of a gift.
“That makes it easier for the couple and they don’t end up with five toasters,” she says.
“Anyone who has ever been married knows how expensive it can be.”
Peta says even if guests pay for their dinner, there are still high costs for flowers, photography, wedding cars, dresses, makeup, hair, and venue rentals.
“All it does is open the door to have more friends in that special moment,” she says.
ABC Everyday spoke to three couples who asked their guests to contribute to their wedding in different ways.
Burnie couple Rachael and Shaun. (Delivered: Rachael Buckley)
Rachael and Shaun
When the northwest Tasmanian couple Rachael and Shaun decided to tie the knot, they had been living together for three years.
The couple has a blended family with five children who are cared for full-time.
“So we don’t just live together, we already had two household garbage,” says Rachael.
They decided to ask people to pay $ 50 to come to their wedding, which was celebrated in January.
“We chose to have people pay for their meals so we could offer them something decent without having to spend too much,” she says.
“We don’t expect gifts, and we already have everything we need and didn’t want to put pressure on people looking for a gift.
“We are also in the middle of the renovation, so the cost savings were our reasons.”
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Josiah and Letesha asked guests to pay $ 35 to come with them. (Delivered: Josiah and Letesha)
Kate and Damien
When the Hobart couple Kate and Damien sat down to plan their wedding in March 2020, they agreed that they wanted to invite anyone they wanted to share the day with.
They didn’t want to worry about a guest list that would have to fit into a number.
“To be able to afford this, we asked 40 of our closest friends and family to bring dessert or something for a plate,” says Kate.
She says it was a highlight and topic of conversation at the wedding.
“People were so proud of the dish they made,” she says.
“The dessert table was amazing. We couldn’t finish everything.”
Some guests were also asked to bring a bottle of wine to share.
People commented to Kate that the approach made them feel included in the wedding.
Kate and Damien asked some guests to bring food and wine to share. (Delivered: Kate and Damien)
Robyn and Brodie
Like so many couples, COVID doubted whether Robyn and Brodie could even have a reception.
“It felt very collaborative and caring,” says Robyn.
“We planned our wedding with the fact that we wouldn’t have any guests due to COVID, so many reception decisions were made at the last minute.
“We made the reception optional so our friends didn’t feel like they had to spend money and still feel like they were supporting us by being at the ceremony.
“This was especially important as we are young ourselves and it has been a time of economic instability due to COVID-19.”
Robyn and Brodie made their wedding reception optional. (Delivered: Robyn Cooley)
They asked guests to prepay for their meal at a Hobart yacht club.
“We didn’t go for a bar tab, and that was because some diners were known to have had problems with alcohol or were recovering,” says Robyn.
The couple also didn’t want people to feel pressured to buy gifts.
“We didn’t want to end up with things that we already had or really didn’t need,” she says.
“Weddings are expensive, and we much prefer our friends and family to enjoy the experience with us than stressed out about gifts.”
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